The Fragility of the Heart
by ink-stained dreams
Summary: She is watching him drive away, and then she can't see the car anymore, and she is alone. She always ends up alone. Oneshot.


_do you know where your love is?_  
_do you think that you lost it?_  
_you felt it so strong,  
but __nothing's  
turned out how you want it_

**-Say (All I Need) by OneRepublic**

* * *

It is Zack's birthday.

It's his birthday and as a good, caring friend, Dr. Temperance Brennan is going to visit him, as is expected by society. Good friends visit their friends on their birthday. It's just how the world works.

This is why Brennan is standing outside the door to the visiting room, a security guard at her side. The man swipes his card and the flashing light turns green.

The sound of the door hissing open reminds her of the way heavy rain whistles through the air.

_There is nothing but the rain all around her, slicing through the black air like wet missiles. Water pounds against her cheeks, and she is glad of this because it means Booth can't notice that she's crying again as he drives away._

Her heart clenches, but she thanks the guard curtly and strides through the door as if nothing is wrong. She's having a hard time keeping her thoughts in check lately; this lack of control is irritating for her.

But this line of thought is for another time, because Zack is sitting at the metal table, and _it's his birthday_, so she has to stop thinking about herself.

"Happy Birthday, Zack," Brennan says with a smile, sitting down.

"Thank you, Dr. Brennan, I appreciate the sentiment."

"I tried to bring you a present, but apparently I'm not allowed to bring a hardcover book in here, alone with you, in case you bludgeon me to death." She shrugged apologetically. "So I left it with the front desk, and they said they'll give it to you later. But," she continued, pulling an envelope out of her pocket, "I was allowed to bring the card in." She passed it to him.

"Thank you," he said again, opening the card. "I have been needing new reading material; it gets somewhat limited. I've already read the dictionary four times."

"I can imagine that that would become dull."

Zack looked up from the card, eyes wide to convey _exactly_ how boring it was. "You have no idea." He set it down, then, asking, "How are things at the Jeffersonian?"

"We just finished a case involving a heart surgeon; her body was found in the roots of a tree upturned in a storm. It turned out to have been an accidental death. It was very…engaging case." She made an effort to not choke on the words. She is strong Temperance, hard Temperance. "As of yet, we have not received a new one."

"And the team? I don't need to hear about Hodgins or Angela, because they've already visited me today."

"Cam is doing well, as is Dr. Sweets." She left _him_ out, hoping beyond hope that he wouldn't ask. Brennan didn't want to talk about how Booth was doing. She didn't know if she could.

"You didn't mention Agent Booth. Is he okay?"

"Booth is fine. He and Hannah are still together." She doesn't want to say his name paired with hers, which is illogical. It is irrational. But still, it's almost as if it hurts, even though such a phenomenon impossible. She knows it's just a metaphor. "He seems to be very happy." _He is happy without me_.

But it does hurt.

It hurts so much.

There is a moment of silence, in which she keeps looking at Zack without seeing him.

_She is watching him drive away, and then she can't see the car anymore, and she is alone. She always ends up alone._

"Are you alright, Dr. Brennan? You seem distracted."

She blinks. Zack is looking at her in confusion, his brow furrowed.

"I am…fine," she manages. But this is a poor response, so she continues. "Recently I…I realized that I harbored romantic feelings towards Booth, which I informed him of, and…and he reminded me that—" _That is was too late and I had already lost him. _"—he was engaged in a committed relationship. But I'm fine, really."

It is the most horrible thing she has ever said, because she makes it sound like some distant, objective research project. Brennan never would have gotten away with such a lie if she were talking to anyone else. But Zack can't read people.

So he doesn't notice how much she's still aching inside.

* * *

At the end of the day, Dr. Temperance Brennan unlocks the door to her apartment, weary and worn. She dumps her bags and shucks her coat with little ceremony, heading straight for the fridge, because there lays the beer bottle that she has been waiting for all day.

She sinks onto the couch gratefully and takes a swig of the cold drink. Staring at the blank TV, her fingers drum an absent-minded beat on the icy amber glass of the bottle. It leeches the warmth from her hand.

_It's so cold, but she doesn't want to go inside because the shivers remind her that she is still feeling something. That she's able to feel anything at all._

Brennan downs her next mouthful too fiercely, and she lurches up, coughing. She finally regains her breath, throat raw. In frustration, she sets the beer down on the table, running one hand through her hair.

She can't prevent all the everyday things that remind her of that night, and it's driving her mad. She is strong Temperance, hard Temperance, _I-don't-believe-in-love _Dr. Temperance Brennan—so why can't she stop this?

Why can't she?

* * *

_She can't believe that it took her this long to figure out that she loved him._

_Of course, by the time she realizes she really wanted to say _yes _to him is when he's no longer there to hear her._

_She is foolish and oblivious Temperance, and she only gets what she deserves._

* * *

Booth clenches the steering wheel until his knuckles turn white. She thinks he can't see her crying again, but he _knows_. He wants to drive back and take her in his arms, to hold her until her eyes run dry. Her pain is his pain, and God, it's killing him.

"Dammit, Bren," he whispers, turning the corner. She just _had _to do this to him; she _had _say the things he had wanted to hear a year ago a year too late.

The one time she needs him most is when he cannot help her.

But he knows that he did the right thing.

(So why is it that he still has to convince himself?)

* * *

Temperance falls asleep on the couch, curled up in a ball.

She is broken Temperance, fragile Temperance.

She doesn't know how long it will take for her to be whole again.

* * *

**This is my first BONES-fic, done at the request of dreamsofcrimson. Hope you enjoyed it, friend. :)**


End file.
